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How To Choke During Sex?

Choking can be an intensely intimate and thrilling act for some couples, but it's not something to enter into lightly. If done improperly, it can be incredibly dangerous. With that in mind, let's dive into understanding how to introduce choking into your intimate moments in a safe and consensual manner.

Understand the Basics and Risks

Before diving head-first into the world of erotic asphyxiation, you need to understand what it means and what risks it carries. Choking involves applying pressure to the neck, which can lead to restricted airflow or even unconsciousness. In some scenarios, it can be life-threatening. Always prioritize safety and consensual boundaries.

Communicate with Your Partner

The very first thing you need to do is talk to your partner. Consent and communication are paramount. Discuss what you're interested in, set boundaries, and ensure you're both comfortable before starting.

  • Establish a Safe Word or Signal: Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, a simple "stop" may not suffice. Choose a word or gesture that means "stop immediately." This is crucial for activities like choking where vocal communication might be hindered.
  • Check In Regularly: Always make sure to regularly check in with your partner. If either of you feel uncomfortable or unsure, stop and discuss.

Learn the Proper Technique

Now, let's get to the nitty-gritty: How do you do it safely? First and foremost, NEVER press on the front of the throat. You should be applying pressure to the sides of the neck, not the front. Pressing the front can damage the windpipe, which is incredibly dangerous.

A Few Tips:

  • Use An Open Hand: Instead of using a closed fist or just your thumb and fingers, an open hand ensures that pressure is evenly distributed, minimizing the risk.
  • Start Gently: Begin with a light touch and gradually increase pressure. This will help both partners find the right level of intensity that's pleasurable without crossing into discomfort.
  • Watch Your Partner's Reactions: If they seem like they're struggling, can't breathe, or are trying to tap out – STOP immediately.
  • Duration Matters: Don't keep pressure for too long. It's better to err on the side of caution and release early than risk holding for too long.

For beginners, it might be a good idea to attend workshops or seek instruction from knowledgeable and experienced practitioners. Remember: Safety first!

Aftercare is Essential

After engaging in any kind of intense sexual activity, especially something like choking, it's crucial to engage in aftercare. This can mean cuddling, discussing the experience, or simply being there for each other. Both partners can have a lot of emotions or sensations to process, and aftercare ensures you're both feeling safe and cared for.

Best Sex Toys to Enhance the Choking Experience

Choking, when done safely and consensually, can heighten intimacy and intensity for some couples. When combined with the right sex toys, it can elevate the experience even further. Below, we'll delve into some of the best sex toys that can complement the act of choking during intimacy. Always remember to prioritize safety and communication.

Collars and Leashes

Collars can be both symbolic and functional. Not only do they symbolize submission for many in the BDSM community, but they can also be used to enhance the choking sensation.

  • Padded Collars: These are comfortable for prolonged wear and can add an element of restriction without being overly constrictive.
  • Leashes: When attached to a collar, a leash can provide a partner with control over movement and positioning. Ensure the collar is not pulled too hard or for too long to avoid injury.

Bondage Rope

Bondage rope is incredibly versatile. While primarily used for tying and restraining, it can be used around the neck as a form of control. Ensure you learn proper techniques to avoid causing harm.

  • Silk Rope: This type is softer on the skin, making it more comfortable for beginners.
  • Hemp or Jute: These are rougher and provide a more textured experience. Knowledge of rope safety is essential.

Breath Play Masks

These masks can restrict airflow to varying degrees, heightening the sensation of breath play. They should be used with extreme caution and always with a safe signal in place.

  • Open Mouth Gags: These can restrict speech without limiting breathing, adding an element of vulnerability.
  • Partial Restriction Masks: These allow some airflow while still creating a sensation of restricted breathing. Monitor the wearer closely and use for short durations.

Neck Restraints

These restraints are designed specifically for the neck, allowing for control without applying direct pressure to the throat.

  • Posture Collars: These prevent the wearer from moving their head too much, adding an element of control and restriction.
  • Neck Harnesses: These offer a more intense look and feel, often with multiple attachment points for other restraints or toys.


Whatever toy or accessory you choose to incorporate, always ensure it's used safely, responsibly, and consensually. Engage in regular communication with your partner, have a clear safe word or signal, and never leave a bound or restrained partner unattended.

Benefits of Choking During Sex

Choking, when practiced consensually and safely, can offer an array of benefits for some individuals and couples. From the psychological to the physical, the act can elevate sexual experiences in different ways. Here are some potential benefits to consider:

  • Heightened Sensations: The act of restricting airflow can intensify physical sensations throughout the body. For some, this can lead to heightened arousal and more intense orgasms.
  • Deepened Trust: Engaging in acts that require such a high level of trust can deepen emotional bonds between partners. The act itself necessitates clear communication, understanding, and trust.
  • Psychological Thrill: For many, the combination of vulnerability and control during choking adds a psychological dimension to intimacy. This can be both thrilling and fulfilling for those who enjoy power dynamics in the bedroom.
  • Enhanced Intimacy: Exploring new kinks and boundaries together can lead to a stronger connection between partners. Sharing and fulfilling fantasies can bring couples closer together.
  • Release of Endorphins: Just like other BDSM practices, choking can cause a release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers. This can lead to feelings of euphoria or a "natural high" for some.

While there are potential benefits, it's crucial to remember that choking isn't for everyone. It's essential to prioritize safety, communication, and mutual consent above all else. Always be educated about the risks and ensure both partners are comfortable and informed.

In Conclusion...

Choking can introduce a new dimension of intimacy and intensity into your sex life, but it's not for everyone. If you're curious, always ensure you approach it with the utmost care, attention, and communication. Stay safe, stay consensual, and most importantly, have fun exploring together!

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