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How To Be Dominant In Sex?

So, you've decided to explore the alluring world of dominance in the bedroom. Welcome aboard! Being dominant can be incredibly sexy, empowering, and can bring a spicy new dimension to your intimacy. However, dominance isn't about just ordering someone around - it's about confidence, trust, and mutual enjoyment. This guide is here to help you navigate the waters and truly understand how to be dominantly delightful in the bedroom.

Start with Self-awareness and Communication

Before you channel your inner dom, you need to know your boundaries, and more importantly, your partner's boundaries.

  • Self-reflection: Why do you want to be dominant? What does dominance mean to you? Are there particular fantasies you'd like to fulfill? Being clear about your motivations helps in creating genuine encounters.
  • Open Dialogue: Always communicate with your partner. Understand their limits, safewords, and desires. Remember, it's a two-way street. The beauty of dominant play lies in mutual consent and trust.
  • Safewords: These are a must. Safewords are words or signals that can be used by any partner to pause or stop the action. They ensure safety and mutual respect. A popular system is the traffic light system: "Green" (all good), "Yellow" (slow down), and "Red" (stop immediately).

Building the Dominant Persona

Being dominant doesn't necessarily mean whips and chains (unless that's your thing). It's about exuding confidence and taking control in a way that both partners find sexy.

  • Body Language: Stand tall, make deliberate movements, and maintain eye contact. A domineering look or a confident touch can be incredibly tantalizing.
  • Voice: Your tone can set the mood. Whether you choose to whisper seductively or give firm commands, ensure your voice exudes confidence.
  • Dress the Part: Clothing can be a powerful tool. Whether you opt for leather, lace, or just something that makes you feel confident, your attire can help set the scene.

Techniques and Tools to Amp Up the Dominance

Alright, so you've talked it out and you're feeling confident. Now, how do you actually "do" the dominant thing? Here are some techniques and tools to consider:

  • Restraints: Cuffs, ropes, or even silk scarves can be used to bind a partner, increasing the feeling of control and submission. If you're new to this, always ensure you can release your partner quickly and never leave a bound person unattended.
  • Teasing: Deny your partner immediate gratification to build anticipation. This can be done verbally, or by getting them close to climax and then pulling back.
  • Commands: Ask your partner to perform certain actions for you. This could be as simple as asking them to undress for you or more explicit commands based on mutual consent.
  • Tools of the Trade: From paddles to floggers, the world of BDSM offers a plethora of toys. Do your research, start slow, and always ensure both parties are comfortable.

Best Sex Toys for Dominance

Exploring dominance in the bedroom? sex toys can amplify the experience, adding layers of sensation, control, and excitement. Below is a curated list of top-notch toys that can elevate your dominant role play to new heights. Always remember, safety and consent come first. Familiarize yourself with each toy and communicate openly with your partner about comfort levels and boundaries.

Bondage Restraints

A dominant's toolkit often begins with restraints. They allow for control and can enhance the feeling of submission for the other partner.

  • Handcuffs: Metal or padded, these are perfect for binding wrists together or to bedposts.
  • Rope: Versatile for various bondage techniques. Opt for soft materials to avoid skin irritation or injury.
  • Bed Restraint Kits: Systems that easily fit under mattresses to create full-body restraints.

Impact Toys

For those who enjoy sensation play, these toys provide varying degrees of impact.

  • Floggers: Multi-tailed tools that offer a range of sensations, from soft thuds to sharper stings, depending on how they're used.
  • Crops: Perfect for precise spanking with a sharper sensation.
  • Paddles: These come in various materials and sizes and provide a broader, often more intense impact than hands alone.

Sensation Play Toys

Beyond impact, other sensations can be delightfully intense.

  • Feather Ticklers: These provide a soft, teasing sensation that can be both tantalizing and tormenting.
  • Wartenberg Pinwheels: A small wheel with sharp pins that can be rolled over the skin for a unique prickly sensation.

Chastity Devices

Chastity devices can offer an exciting play on control and denial.

  • Cock Cages: These devices restrict erection and can be used to play with orgasm denial.
  • Chastity Belts: More commonly used for vulva owners, these prevent penetration and can also be part of orgasm denial scenarios.

Electro-Stim Toys

For those who crave a more electrifying experience.

  • TENS Units: Originally for pain relief, when used at low levels, they can stimulate muscles in unique, pulsating patterns.
  • E-stim Attachments: These can range from adhesive pads to insertable toys that deliver electric sensations.


Always ensure you're purchasing quality products from reputable sources. When in doubt, read reviews, and prioritize body-safe materials. Most importantly, remember that the best sex toy is open communication with your partner. Enjoy exploring and stay safe!

Final Note:

Like any form of intimate play, consent is the cornerstone of a positive experience. Being dominant is a role, a part you play based on mutual agreement. Outside of the scene, always treat your partner with respect, love, and care.

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